Michael Cohen Doesn't Want To Go To Jail

  • Gepubliceerd op 2 maanden geleden

    The Late Show with Stephen ColbertThe Late Show with Stephen Colbert

    Looptijd: 8:44

    The President's former fixer is cooperating with Robert Mueller's team in a way that is causing his ex-boss to lash out angrily on Twitter.
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Gary Wilson
Gary Wilson

the USA needs universal healthcare, universal education and steady, but sustainable military. It has been demonstrated clearly that the more educated and healthy a population is, the happier and more productive they become.

Dag geleden
Nathalie M.L.
Nathalie M.L.

"Dot dot dotdotdot" kills me every time

4 dagen geleden
Ty Sargent
Ty Sargent

Jesus, Trump walked out during the G20 summit. Imagine if he did that as he was being arrested by the cops or as he was in court.

27 dagen geleden
Ty Sargent
Ty Sargent

Here's how it would go. The cops show up, they talk to Trump, they charge him, they go into their cruisers to get their handcuffs, and Trump is outta there. Oh, here come a couple dozen officers chasing right after him. Trump screams, "Get me out of here!" They run for several hundred or so kilometers. They drive to catch this lunatic bigot, and it takes 50 officers to bring him down. The Donald is kicking and screaming, "I AM THE PRESIDENT! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME AWAY! I AM GOD! VLADIMIR PUTIN WILL KILL YOU! HE IS GOD! MY PEOPLE LOVE ME! THERE WAS NO COLLUSION! CROOKED HILLARY IS THE REAL THREAT! ARREST HER! SHE'S GOT THE PEE-PEE TAPE! DEATH TO DEMOCRATS AND OBAMA! REPUBLICANS ARE FOOLS! I WILL SEE YOU ALL IN HELL! HEIL HITLER!!!

27 dagen geleden
Flash League
Flash League

Great Trump voice Steve! #FuckTrump

Maand geleden
James Cosgrow
James Cosgrow

Your president is a nazi

Maand geleden
Sabrina Shum
Sabrina Shum

"big leap forward" doesn't exactly evoke fond memory in Chinese people. watch your mouth.

Maand geleden
Mairak Joa
Mairak Joa

There has been an organization/movement called "Thai Federation" that is trying to educate Thai people who have been brainwashed by Thai monarchy's propaganda for almost 100 years that We, the people have more power than the monarchy. The purpose of the organization is to totally abolish the monarchy regime and establish true democracy regime similar to the USA. They have even adopted the USA's constitution into theirs. The written constitution is ready to be used once the revolution is succeed. Thai monarchy has been behind the killings of the innocent people who are trying to change the country into a better place for everyone and the world democracy. Please help the organization and spread the information to your colleagues.

Maand geleden
Dave Wade
Dave Wade

Oh ffs can we just hang traitor tRump already?! I'll donate the rope.

Maand geleden
David Souza
David Souza

Full & complete sentence... Cohen must be incensed! Singin like a bird now for sure!!! Good luck $panky and the gang!

Maand geleden
Totally Nameless
Totally Nameless

These tweets by Trump don't even seem real. They seem like someone doing a parody of Trump. Also military wankers, you do know people are starving to death in the world, right? Could that money maybe go to food or water or- oh no? Just going to build more bombs, gotchya, right, 'sall good.

Maand geleden
Rose That’s me !!
Rose That’s me !!

Stephen, can u have Cohen on the Late Show before he goes to jail..... please, please, please ?? He’s a good guy now.

2 maanden geleden
Haifisch NZ
Haifisch NZ

lol omg stop. Daht daht dat....

2 maanden geleden
Devon Lockwood
Devon Lockwood

Look Dad, the cow say's moo! "Fake moo's"

2 maanden geleden
niloofar alavi
niloofar alavi

Trump handler 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

2 maanden geleden
MsAnthropea Necrosis
MsAnthropea Necrosis

"President Trump".

2 maanden geleden
W P
W P

Man baby is waving in Argentina, very nice.

2 maanden geleden
Nnamdi Eke
Nnamdi Eke

Google image search for regret LMAO

2 maanden geleden
G
G

716 billion dollars down the drain. we don't need more military crap. What country is ever going to try to invade america ??? I'll wait...

2 maanden geleden
Emil Landén
Emil Landén

I know this is small and of no great meaning for a few of you guys. But I want America to know Sweden loves America, and wants great trade relations. No matter what Trump says. We are by no means perfect but we love progress and cooperation. We may be different but we are good allies who want to see great nations cooperate.

2 maanden geleden
Shawn Newell
Shawn Newell

Hey Trump just told the truth! He's crazy!

2 maanden geleden
juan altredo
juan altredo

Worst education, healthcare and public transportation of the first world, but great army. We're going to give very uneducated young men all the guns and best arsenal in the world, because what could go wrong? .

2 maanden geleden
soapwonder
soapwonder

Taxis? LOL dot dot dot 😂

2 maanden geleden
Molly Spurgeon
Molly Spurgeon

How has no one begun proofreading his tweets after nearly two years of these absurd, embarrassing, completely cringeworthy incoherent messages?! Like, out of all the easiest fires to put out first?

2 maanden geleden
r385671
r385671

They try to. But trump thinks he's the smartest person in the room -- always. He's a textbook example of a narcissist.

2 maanden geleden
Shannon Wiggins
Shannon Wiggins

Lock him up! Lock him up!

2 maanden geleden
Andreas w.
Andreas w.

dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot freaking moron

2 maanden geleden
Grover Baker
Grover Baker

The Prez is an evil guy.. he needs prayers.. it's cold and lonely in the penitentiary..

2 maanden geleden
J Hughes
J Hughes

Sick puppy.

2 maanden geleden
cam
cam

Insane clown president is the inevitable result of an ignorant and uneducated (and thus easily duped) electorate. Two generations of Republican attacks on public education have brought us to this. Having a political party which, since Reagan, is against government, against the public interest, against public funding of schools, hospitals and infrastructure and which represents the interests of the wealthy only is turning the US into a third world country.

2 maanden geleden
Kiran Patel
Kiran Patel

Rudy is more confused then trump

2 maanden geleden
Micheal Planck
Micheal Planck

For the record, the opposite of a pardon is a "bill of attainder."

2 maanden geleden
Grjónmann Burns
Grjónmann Burns

#FakePresident !

2 maanden geleden
Timothy McNulty
Timothy McNulty

Fighting back against fake news with unimaginable comprehensive news... Feel free to share this on all posts, videos, social media platforms... The World Is About To Change Q Get used to the idea... DJT/JFK JR 2020 Making Things Right Get used to seeing it... John F Kennedy Jr for President 2024 MAKING THINGS RIGHT Santa Claus of the United States Did you see John F Kennedy Jr acting as Santa at the HEB Thanksgiving Day Parade in Houston on Nov 22 2018? Yes 55 years after GHBush assassinated JFK Sr,,, You can view this reality here on YouTube. Did you see John F Kennedy Jr acting as Santa at the last Trump rally in Mississippi? Carolyn was looking great as Mrs Claus... Did you see the attitude change at the GHWBush funeral when envelopes dropped out of their program folders... The World Is About To Change... Merry Christmas Q = Vincent Fusca = JFK JR

2 maanden geleden
Brian Justice
Brian Justice

Here comes the Trump handler.... 😂😂😂😂

2 maanden geleden
Fushicho Kurayami
Fushicho Kurayami

**How My Brain Works** *See's Trump Tweet: *"Farmers, I LOVE YOU!"* *And My Brain Replies With: *All You Farmers, Run Run Run Run Run Run Run.* Now....Who Got It? X.D

2 maanden geleden
Gus
Gus

Shame Donald McDumbshit can't serve up a full and complete sentence.

2 maanden geleden
enriqueali
enriqueali

Is Trump even sane?! I mean that as an honest factual enquiry, not in any rhetorical sense. How else can you explain these all-too-frequent bizarre and self-contradictory statements? 😮😮😮😮

2 maanden geleden
carla mannon
carla mannon

HAHAHAHAHAHAH SCOTT!  KINDA LIKE BEING SCOTCH!   HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2 maanden geleden
tremer 2009
tremer 2009

Thanks The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.☺ Why is He always appealing to his right? Shouldn't Stephie always appeal to his left, towards Jon...Frikin Catholics, amirite??😀

2 maanden geleden
Alt Facts News
Alt Facts News

LOL, love it. Well said. But then again, not everyone agrees... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIyBZwjxqS4

2 maanden geleden
Tara Echo Q
Tara Echo Q

No joke!!! We NEED, NEED, NEED better access to college and other ways of learning. All of our problems stem from lack of knowledge, of education, open minds are shrinking faster than Trump’s penis around Putin!! Americans NEED education! We absolutely need to put that ban back in place, where the news can not make up stories or slant information in anyway. Regan did Away with it.

2 maanden geleden
ZeroBasslyne DO
ZeroBasslyne DO

Tweet Filled Presidency.......WOW!

2 maanden geleden
Annie S.
Annie S.

trump is literally dumber than expired tampons

2 maanden geleden
Pete Keller
Pete Keller

Hey. Whatever happened to Omarosa Newman?

2 maanden geleden
Yusuf Ibrahim
Yusuf Ibrahim

Lmbo 716billion all made in the USA only its actually not. China makes all the bomb ordinances for the US.

2 maanden geleden
Lizee J
Lizee J

wow

2 maanden geleden
Jesse
Jesse

I bet trump had to shut real bad. He eats a lot of fast food

2 maanden geleden
Nmethyltransferase
Nmethyltransferase

Making America a laughingstock to trigger the libs.

2 maanden geleden
Robert Richardson
Robert Richardson

I am or I should say im attempting to stay enrolled in school using my GI BILL which I've used off and on for various classes and certifications since I got out of the Army in 06. In all of those years and every time I used it I never had problem one. This guy took the ONLY VA related entity that in my opinion wasn't fucked up and for some reason or maybe because of that reason went ahead and FUBARED it. Would Canada let a prior service American soldier enlist?

2 maanden geleden
Douglas Palo
Douglas Palo

cms no matter what you say to his supporters they cant hear nor see.

2 maanden geleden
Douglas Palo
Douglas Palo

IMPEACH this guy! he hasn't done anything for the public only his already very very rich friends. He's brought so much hate out of people besides all the illegal stuff thats been done. I don't understand how people still back him. he gave the rich 1.9 trillion in tax breaks now they can afford to give us a tax break. the one year tax break for us is supposed to appease us?. Now to get the debt down old, sick and poor will pay for it. America looks so stoopid around the world now. I don't care who would win the next election Dem or Rep just as long as they aren't another little family mob boss.

2 maanden geleden
Kinky
Kinky

So...Michael Cohen paying silence money to Trump's sexual liaisons somehow ripped the election away from Hillary? And it was all Russia's fault? Huh? I guess I'm still confused.

2 maanden geleden
Malcolm Odell
Malcolm Odell

Brendan Fraser isn't dead.

2 maanden geleden
...x
...x

Just reading the tweets verbatim is not funny.

2 maanden geleden
Andrew Homiak
Andrew Homiak

Somehow, I'm not reassured by any tweet about China that mentions a "big leap forward"...

2 maanden geleden
chris532008
chris532008

Should be executed. He s sn attorney. Snd a sell out the lowest of low scum

2 maanden geleden
ALFIE
ALFIE

$716B for the military, so what about Education, health care and housing? I guess those don't matter anymore; I think tribal politics blinds people to the truth.

2 maanden geleden
chucku00
chucku00

Was he tweeting about Scott Free productions ? Does he want a movie about his "presidency" ?

2 maanden geleden
Michael
Michael

Who the hell is "Scott Free"?

2 maanden geleden
CaptainUseless
CaptainUseless

It was funny for a while reading those “dot dot dot dot dot dot” in Trumps tweets but it’s seriously getting boring/annoying. Just read the tweet Stephen

2 maanden geleden
Shawn Winnie
Shawn Winnie

Notice that Trump frequently refers to himself in third person, especially when talking about his businesses and legal liabilities. Especially when he's being held accountable, he then talks about himself as if he's talking about another person and then defending that person. This is a symptom of narcissism and insanity.

2 maanden geleden
Horse Ass
Horse Ass

My cousin with down syndrome would be a more competent president

2 maanden geleden
G. Strauss
G. Strauss

Hi there from one of those countries referred to as shitholes by that senile old goat you elected as president. America, WTF is wrong with your country?

2 maanden geleden
Sandra J Gobely
Sandra J Gobely

It’s Mueller Time... 🍻 #MuellerIsComing #MeToo #ImpeachTrump #WeCallBS #NetNeutrality #Bernie2020 #Resist #WaterIsLife

2 maanden geleden
smackdowner
smackdowner

Trump is so damn stupid

2 maanden geleden
Butterfly princess
Butterfly princess

Mueller needs to interview Trump against Cohen and Flynn and Manafort to add to all their crimes. All crooks, all will testify against each other.

2 maanden geleden
Slihrih
Slihrih

Pardon..pardoff 😂😂😂

2 maanden geleden
John Sim
John Sim

45 should try making a complete sentence, sometime.

2 maanden geleden
DukeStreetBill
DukeStreetBill

A "pardoff" would give Trump a pardon.

2 maanden geleden
Tyg Rahof
Tyg Rahof

Every day Trump can prove he is a fuckwad. Again, where is our Oswald...

2 maanden geleden
One World
One World

"Why did he put "President Trump" in quotes?" Ow it hurts to laugh so hard..... that was great. Here's some morsels from a few days ago on this subject...... check out the vague but blatant detours, double-talk, fatiguing chaos...... punctuated as spoken. One of my favorite is:  ".....a project which was ESSENTIALLY I GUESS MORE OR LESS of an option that we were looking at in moscow everybody knew about it it was written about in newspapers it was a well-known project it was during the early part of '16 and I guess even before that it was for a short period of time (glitch) DIDN'T DO IT so we're not talking about DOING A PROJECT we're talking about NOT DOING A PROJECT."   Another segment of flotsam, jetsam, detritus, and ...... well, how about some Frank Zappa words "terpsichorean ejectamenta"? "..........I don't know exactly but uh he was convicted of things UNRELATED to US, he was given a fairly long uh JAIL SENTENCE and he's a WEAK person and by being weak UNLIKE OTHER PEOPLE THAT YOU WATCH he's a WEAK PERSON and what he's trying to do is get a reduced sentence so he's lying about a project that everybody knew about I mean we were very open with it we were thinkin' about building a building I guess we had in a form that was an option I don't know what you'd call it uh we decided I decided ultimately NOT TO DO IT. There would've been nothing wrong if I DID do it if I DID do it there would've been nothing wrong this was my BUSINESS...... so he's lying very simply to get a reduced sentence."

2 maanden geleden
Kanrath
Kanrath

The talk of "finest and cleanest product in the world" Immediately made me think "Since when did cocaine become a US export to China"

2 maanden geleden
pfaffman100
pfaffman100

Right now what would be so amazing is if our Friend, David Letterman, would join Stephen right about soon, and think his thoughts too.

2 maanden geleden
Nik Rahmat
Nik Rahmat

Its unbelievable that this is the American President.

2 maanden geleden
MrJohnycomelately21
MrJohnycomelately21

I was looking through the comments for Brendan Fraser saying "Btw I'm not dead"

2 maanden geleden
Daddy- Cool
Daddy- Cool

4:48 - 5:14 you know its always a mistake of standing in front of a Blue Screen. I mean some People with Video Editing skills and with the help of "Chroma Key" they could make some crazy shit out of this. :D

2 maanden geleden
Ann Owen
Ann Owen

I can't believe we get presidential updates via misspelled tweets.

2 maanden geleden
EDM REQUIEM
EDM REQUIEM

The clips of President Trump repeating his $716 Billion military budget after tweeting that it was crazy? Yes, we know. He's crazy!

2 maanden geleden
sweinberger
sweinberger

Cutting down on defense might be the first sensible thing your president has ever announced in office. True, he's the one who approved it in the first place, but nevertheless: realizing that it's insane to spend more on defense than the next 10 (!) countries combined (!) is at least kind of progress.

2 maanden geleden
Redlight Records
Redlight Records

I make air quotes every time I say "President Tump"

2 maanden geleden
xev1435
xev1435

what did Mr. Cohen do with Taxis?

2 maanden geleden
Laurantalasah
Laurantalasah

Mauricio Macrííí... jajajaja he butchered the pronunciation :p

2 maanden geleden
carschmn
carschmn

Love the Trump handler.

2 maanden geleden
General ist
General ist

"Trump wants a level playing field because he can't walk uphill". Stephen is a comedic genius!

2 maanden geleden
backwoodsjunkie08
backwoodsjunkie08

Our country is hilarious! Enjoy the "sitcom" that is America

2 maanden geleden
LAWRENCE OTTUM
LAWRENCE OTTUM

President Trump will resign by summer of 2019 with fines! but, he and his family will be pardoned for their many crimes

2 maanden geleden
Do My Nails
Do My Nails

Whatever you do for the rest of your life, NEVER,EVER,EVA buy a pair of horn rimmed glasses. It will be too painful to connect your face to that you have just broadcast. Never, OK? I wore a pair once to work and I didn't think twice about it. A coworker of mine who didn't like me and hardly ever spoke to me looked at me very long and carefully and said "You look like Harry Potter".I thought I was gonna pee all over the floor.

2 maanden geleden
myMelody4life
myMelody4life

Watching Trump storm off stage and say "Get me out of here" like a petulant child made me cringe so much...

2 maanden geleden
Brandon Toad
Brandon Toad

Trump is a crazy old man.

2 maanden geleden
Munish K
Munish K

So Obama didn’t increase the defence budget, start 5 new wars, and kill a bunch of innocent children, too? Obama was definitely a better president but better doesn’t make you a great president!

2 maanden geleden
David Nielsen
David Nielsen

Trump reminds me of hitler in spending $700 billion on the military. who is he going to invade? Too many stupid people in the US.

2 maanden geleden
Julie S
Julie S

Can U.S. repeat the Egyptian coup a la 2013? Or will we sit and fight each other, which is clearly what's happening.

2 maanden geleden
Peppertree133 T
Peppertree133 T

"Big leap forward"?? Was that intentionally (and ironically) referencing Mao's Great Leap Forward?

2 maanden geleden
Seetiyan
Seetiyan

Two year olds and animals need handlers. A freakin' PRESIDENT shouldn't need a handler!

2 maanden geleden
Alan Choi Chang
Alan  Choi Chang

Seriously though, it wasn't the people that voted for him that got him elected, he didn't even win the majority. So, perhaps the US should really take a look at the outdated and retarded Electoral College and change that shit. How is it a democratic vote, if the person that the majority voted for doesn't get into office? fucking retarded system.

2 maanden geleden
Marlo
Marlo

Stone doesn't want to be charged with perjury that's why he's not testilying.

2 maanden geleden
Sept Care Ltd
Sept Care Ltd

He knows the money is going to military so he demolished that and pocket it himself Putin takes over haha

2 maanden geleden
The Super Psycho Killer
The Super Psycho Killer

Trump totally needs a kid leash.

2 maanden geleden
Malidictus
Malidictus

Did... Did Trump intentionally reference Mao Zedong's "Great Leap Forward?" You know, the attempt at industrialising Communist China which ended in historical famine? Or am I reading too much into his tweets?

2 maanden geleden
Lopez Mario
Lopez Mario

Guys, you have been laughing for two years with thousands of jokes and STILL, you cannot get him. As usual he gets the last laugh.

2 maanden geleden
Crystal Duncan
Crystal Duncan

God a 6 year old could put together more coherent tweets...imbecile.

2 maanden geleden

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